Ok... fine, a bit dramatic. He wasn't necessarily "the one" but he was the first. And now he's bought a house (a 300K house at that) with someone who isn't me.

We haven't been together since we were 19, but some small part of me always thought... and now he's buying a house with someone he calls "my everything." My. Everything.

The part that really gets me is that he knew I'd be a little disappointed and upset, and because of that he felt he couldn't talk to me. He tells me that he thinks about me and wonders "what if..." and that messes with his head.

I'm happy for him, I truly sincerely am. I have always wished him the best. I hope that his everything treats him like he deserves, and I hope that he grows fat and old and happy with lots of family around him that he loves and adores and love and adore him.

Selfishly, I hope we still mean something to each other. I'm naive enough to think that maybe we'll be friends, the desperately important to each other kind of friends. That we'll talk on the phone all of the time, he'll invite me to the wedding, our families will summer together, our children play together. I'm old enough and wise enough to know that is probably not the case.

I haven't thought about him in awhile, but all of the sudden I miss him.